Jet

Father is defined by the online dictionary as "a man who begets, raises or nurtures a child."

We call him Ama, Itay, Tatay, Erpats, Papa, Pops, Pop, Dad, Daddy, Father, or one comes up with his/her own endearment. For me, I call my father, PAPA.

Family and friends often remark that I’m Papa’s girl. I always beg to diasgree, after all, I have an older sister and it won’t be fair to her. I believe Papa’s love is equally distributed.

I guess the observations started when my two older siblings went to high school in Iloilo and I was the only child at home. Since our family is close, we tend to attend gatherings together. Others saw me teasing and laughing with Papa a lot.

I have also been involved in Papa’s numerous activities. When I was younger, my siblings, some cousins and I were his water girls when he joined marathons. I even joined him in a 5K marathon. I finished but never again. I became a member of his brotherhood’s organization for their daughters. I helped organize a Rotaract Club when he was President of the Rotary Club. I went with him to his Toastmasters Club meetings especially if Mom is not available.

Over the years, he (and Mom) has been a symbol of love. Always there, someone I can trust, one who gives love unconditionally.

The distance hasn’t changed anything. We email everyday.

Papa is turning 70 tomorrow, September 9. I wish I can join the festivities but I have work commitments here in the US. But soon, I will be joining the family.

I love you, Pop! Happy Birthday!

PAGBABALIK
by Asin

Sa gitna ng dilim
Ako ay nakatanaw
Ng ilaw na kay panglaw
Halos ‘di ko makita

Tulungan mo ako
Ituro ang daan
Sapagkat ako’y sabik
Sa aking pinagmulan

CHORUS
Bayan ko, nasaan ka
Ako ngayoy’y nag-iisa
Nais kong magbalik
Sa iyo, bayan ko

Patawarin mo ako
Kung ako’y nagkamali
Sa landas na aking
Tinahak

Sa pagsibol ng araw
Hanggang dapit hapon
Malamig ang hangin
Ang aking jayakap

Huwag sanang hadlangan
Ang aking nilalandas
Sapagka’t ako’y sabik
Sa aking sinilnagan

REPEAT CHORUS

AD LIB

Repeat 2nd stanza of Chorus

It’s my birthday again! Has it been really a year? I was hoping to celebrate in Bacolod this year but there are so many surprises this year .. a wedding, bapstisms and a work commitment that will end in December.

The last time I celebrated my birthday in the Philippines was in 1998 and it was not a good one. My "husband" didn’t come home from Iloilo. Ang wala huya! It was during the time of the marriage that was not (kay annulled!). Nabayaan kuno sang barko tapos gin patay pa ang cell. Hadlok man siya. Ka funny ah… those were the days.

This year, my birthday’s a HOLIDAY! I wanted to have a nice birthday celebration in Bacolod. Maybe with the boys from Bahay Pag-asa or the street kids or the girls from the Girls Home. Something more meaningful. Maybe next year.

Lately, my theme song has been "Pagbabalik" by Asin. I really miss home. Mapuli na ko ya this year.

Today in New York … I woke up so tired, wanting to sleep. I worked 7 days prior in Cooper Union (Office Assistant) and in Barnes & Noble @ The New York Law School (Cashier). I was helping my friend from BN Main Store days in her store. She’s manager. I love books and of course, availing the discount. But! The law books are so heavy. We also tend to stand the whole time. But it’s fun. This is only for 2 weeks.

Had a pre-birthday celebration in Serendipity with Meow and Jows. I had to have my own banana split this time. The wait was 1 hour and 1/2 … gin gutom kami and had dinner. Their cheddarburger with fries was delicious! Worth the wait. It seems like our favorite place this summer.

Tonight, we’re eating at Todai - the eat all you can Japanese restaurant. I miss their food.

Sharing pictures soon….

It’s March 15 again. Was it only a year ago when I wrote in my blog… “celebrating life?” It’s my 4th “death anniversary” today. I decided to make it sound more positive… today is my rebirth. How fortunate for me to have two birthdays.

I am beginning to understand why I am still here alive, why God did not take me four years ago today. Of course, there are days when I wished He did.

Memories of my near death experience made me value LIFE. This year, we lost a batchmate from high school to cancer. She has a husband and two young kids. So much to live for. Made me think that we can not control our lives. God does … He decides for everything.

During her wake and burial, my thoughts were about — “what if it was me in her place?” Would my family and friends miss me? How would they feel? It made me cry harder. Because I saw how well loved she was by her husband, kids, parents and siblings.

It also woke me up - to be conscious of what I eat (but not successful), to thank each day that I am still here. Made me value my love ones more.

Aren’t you happy, we’re alive??

December 27 would have been my 10th wedding anniversary! Today in Iloilo, the court gave the final judgment. It’s legal and final, the marriage is annulled. Full circle.

Ten years ago, I was an excited bride looking forward to a new life married to my college sweethear. We went to the judge, the father of one of our good friends. He was good and kind enough to wed us even if our marriage license was not yet ready. Our marriage certificate states that we married on January 2, 1997 but our pictures said December 27, 1996 (even then the fates gave signs of not meant to be). This was the reason we used for the nullity of the marriage.

We planned our life. I will go back to the US (California) to "prepare" (yes, just after being married - so, is it my fault?) and then go back in time for our church wedding in December 1997. But some things are not meant to be… he was left in Bacolod and he has a good job (a young executive) with a secretary…. and then, after a shot of tequila and BOOM, an affair started. We still continued to communicate by mail (emailing and texting were not an option yet). Of course, I didn’t know. Wives are always the last to know.

I went home in November as planned and not even a week of my arrival, he admitted that there is someone else. It even started as a joke.. I asked him, "guro may iban ka na ay" and his answer "Huo" shattered my life. He said that he still loved me and fool me, I believed him (or really wanted to). Of course, he also loved her. We tried to make it work… but SHE got pregnant. We still tried to make it work or maybe he was being "nice" to give me up. Denial stage. I was holding on to something… that wasn’t there.

Pain! I don’t want to experience it again. Just thinking about it still bring tears to my eyes. The pain, being a fool in love (or was it dependence to him?) or a hurt ego.. … NO thanks, please not again.

After therapy (was clinically depressed), prayers and talks with my family, I finally accepted the facts -  he did not LOVE me anymore, I need to move on. I made a decision and told him I was going back to the US. This was about a year and half after I knew the truth. Can you believe he cried? Told me that I can still follow our dreams while he’s stuck in the Philippines. He also said he’ll take care of the annulment. Whatever!

Back in the US, New York this time, I still called him. YES, it’s very hard to LET GO. Slowly, I stopped calling. My young cousins helped me heal. It’s so nice to be young. Having crushes, giggling. I giggled with them. I also met my high school friends again and I had a new "mission." I also attended a Catholic retreat for the separated, divorced and widowed persons. Gosh, I cried the whole weekend and everyone there experienced what I experienced. It helped a lot.

I loved and enjoyed my life in New York (still do). Being with found again friends, having new friends from work (Barnes and Noble). Meeting guys. Falling in love again and again (but nothing very serious). My sister came here for about a year and had a baby.

It was almost the end of 2001 and he didn’t file the annulment yet. So I went home in March 2002 and filed. Had to go home again in 2003 to be the first witness. Waiting, waiting and waiting …. and finally, they need to send the decision to him and to the office of the solicitor general. Had to find his address. Now, it’s easy to use the internet. The whole annulment process took 3 years.

Truth? I don’t know how I feel. Happy, yes, to finally get the final papers but can you believe? Sad? It’s final. Closure time. "Real" new life for the New Year! 2007!

I can change my papers in the Philippines now. Back to my name. Yehey!

Thank you for all your support and encouragement. The survivor speaks …

Now, it’s time to make plans for another wedding. Just kidding (live-in anay). Hahaha! Daw tuod lang ba.

HAPPY 2007! I hope to have even more blessings this new year.

It’s CHRISTmas time once again. Another one away from home. It’s really different how CHRISTmas is celebrated in the Philippines. I don’t know why but it just seems more fun there. The concept is the same… going to mass, preparing for the birth of Jesus, the family gatherings, the gift giving and of course, more parties!! But what? Why do I feel different?

The feelings of "depression" is present but this year I am more alive. I shopped for family and friends earlier than usual … had more budget than last. Have more gifts than last, etc.

Last year, my cousins from Maryland came to visit me, this year, it’s my turn. I am going to Baltimore, then Olney tonight. We’ll follow the tradition at home… have lunch on December 24 together. I can’t wait to give my gifts and of course, receive mine too. Hehehe!

I sent gifts to my family and special friends a little late this year. I sent them through Johnny Air last Sunday and they it’s arriving after the New Year. Well, better late than never.

Time to go! Have a CHRISTmas to go to… high school friends.

The University of the Philippines in the Visayas (Iloilo) High School Batch 1987 graduates is almost on its 20th year after graduation.

Our batch is organizing a medical/dental mission and gift giving in Project 5, Barangay Sooc, Arevalo, Iloilo on December 29, 2006. This will be our opening salvo for a year long planning for the batch 20th year reunion.

As early as 1999, Charmaine and I have been looking for our classmates. We created a Yahoo Group and now in 2006, we know the whereabouts of more than 50% (maybe 80%) of our batch. Most are members of the Yahoo group but some are not. It’s an accomplishment when we find a batchmate. Feels so good.

We had two major reunions. One in Iloilo in December 2000 and another Chicago in 2001. The batch in Iloilo gathers every December since then.

Plans and projects were born (and finalized) online. I am very happy with this technology era. Textings are also very reliable.

Now, our first big project is near. The core group in Iloilo has tapped doctors, dentists and nurses aside from the batch. They meet once a week. We have collected pictures, medicine, monetary and in kind donations etc. etc. and we are almost ready… well, those in the Philippines. I wish I could be there.

I am so proud of my batch … I see the dedication, commitment, cooperation and teamwork. In the beginning, there were misunderstandings, of course, it is expected. But things are very smooth now. I hope it will stay this way. We have more activities coming.

I am so grateful and proud to be a member of UPVHS Batch 1987. UP Naming Mahal …

August 20, 2006 - 36 years old. Was it only last year that I wrote my reflections in life? Time really flies.

My birthday started the beginning of the month. As I’ve mentioned before, August is my favorite month. I was able to submit my application for citizenship on the 1st of August and I had my fingerprinting last Friday. Already! Kadasig man gani. Now, I am studying American history.

I’ve received gifts as early as second week of August. Thank you to my family. JP’s gift came that week too, to our surprise. We can’t understand the post office, if you want to rush a letter or package, it’s very late or does not arrive at all … but if you give it time, it’s early. The important thing, it arrived.

The trip to Massachusetts was an early treat. It is a very interesting state, full of history. I enjoyed the trip with Rey, Agnes, Gabie, Red and Jows. We had a blast. The lobster… namit!

Friday, Jows (again - am sure you people can tell she’s my closest best friend here), Daday, Rogielyn and April brought me to Arthurs. The steak was superb. Had to bring some home. Since I went to Hoboken early, Jows and I went to Charming Nails. Heaven! I havent had a pedicure/medicure for more than a year. Thank you dears for a great time.

Saturday in the Philippines. PsPN - Paghiliusa sa Paghidaet Negros, the NGO I join/volunteer, brought a toddler, Beryl Joy R, to Diagnostic Center. I used my connections. JP and I were coordinating by text. We need to pray that she will be allowed to have surgery. She has a heart condition that may be hard to fix.

Birth day - I received texts Saturday evening from family and friends in the Philippines. It was my day there already. Midnight here … received greetings, too. "Early" morning on a Sunday (10am), Kap Rey, Inday Agnes, Gabie and Red woke me up with a cake and balloons. The pictures were scary! Me! Puffy eyed and standing hair. Still lovable (according to me). Hahaha! We went to mass at 11am and had lunch at Chili’s in Palisades Mall. Jows came too.

As usual, family and friends called and texted to greet me happy birthday. Most emailed and some sent me messages here in Friendster. Thank you, friends.

The celebration just began. August is not yet over.

God Bless us all!

It’s August already, my favorite month. For those who know me will know why.

First day of August, someone in the train before ours got sick. They had to wait for the EMTs so our train line was suspended. I had to go back uptown and took the local train. I was 30 minutes late!

The heat is ON. Last week, the temperature reached 100 degrees which felt like about 115. Good thing, the AC in the office is great. I brought lunch so I didn’t have to go out.

On a positive note, I was able to submit my application to the USCIS. The weather has cooled down. I have exciting activities coming. I have celebrated a birthday with a close friend. More coming!

I will miss visiting Florida this month. I wanted to spend some time there with the manatees and other animals in Animal Kingdom. Meeting Mickey and Minnie was also in the itinerary. Hopefully, I can do this some day, not exactly in my favorite month.

I should write more in this blog.

I am inspired by JoyA….

Four Jobs I’ve Had in My Life

   1. Guidance Counselor
   2. Youth Program Officer
   3. Library Staff / Bookseller
   4. Administrative and Operations Assistant/Researcher

Four Films I Can Watch Over And Over

1. Clueless
2. Grease
3. Legally Blonde
4. The Phantom of the Opera

Four Places I Have Lived

1. Manapla, Negros Occidental
2. Bacolod City, Negros Occidental
3. Iloilo City
4. United States (California, New York, New Jersey, Maryland)

Four TV Programs I Love To Watch

1. CHARMED
2. The Buzz
3. Any Court TV shows
4. Friends

Four places I have been on vacation (does weekend trips count?)

1. Boracay 
2. Baguio
3. Illinois
4. Washington, DC

Four Places I Would Have Visited, Had I Had The Money

1. Venice (well, also Rome, Florence, Milan in Italy)
2. Paris, France
3. United Kingdom
4. Any other southeast Asian country (haven’t been to one except airports)

Four Websites I Visit Daily

1. Yahoo Mail
2. Gmail
3. Google
4. Lasalistas webmail

Four Of My Favorite Foods

1. Pizza
2. Chicken Inasal (hidlaw gid ko)
3. Spaghetti
4. Fried Chicken

Four Places I Would Rather Be

   1. Bacolod City (I miss home)
   2. In Bed especially now… (it’s 1:40am)
   3. In a warmer place (Florida?) … (kadugay mag-summer)
   4. In my bedroom at home in Bacolod

Four books I could read over and over again (added by Tin2/Joy)

  1. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
  2. Any of Nora Roberts’ books
  3. Any of Annette Broadrick’s books
  4. The Bible

Who’s next? Tag you!