Jet

United States of America. These days, I often wonder, why am I here? Many people would like to be in my place but I’d rather be home in Bacolod. My family is there. I miss my nephews. I miss my best friend and other friends. I miss working with the youth. I miss my "boys" in BPYC.

Once upon a time, I loved being here. I immigrated in California in 1996. Loved the place. It was something NEW. I met my first (and true) love, SNOOPY in Knotts Berry Farm. Maybe I was experiencing my childhood dreams of going to the US. Went to Disneyland, Sea World, Universal Studios, etc. etc. Was able to work in the library. How I love books! The people were nice. Met different kinds of people. Had a bad learning experience, too, but that’s another story that I don’t want to go into now.

I have always been going back and forth… I’ll be in the US and then, in the Philippines.

Then, I got married and experienced another breakthrough in life. My world shattered but hey, I survived. I was just a girl interrupted.

Part of the healing was process was going back to the US, this time in NEW YORK. Wow, this place is better than California. It’s so easy to go everywhere! Everything is accessible. I LOVE NEW YORK! I was able to renew friendships with my high school friends and also Balayan-La Salle friends.

Everytime, I go home to the Philippines, some things happen. My landlady ended her lease in the NY apartment so had to find another place. This place is in Jersey City, NJ. When I went home again, my new landlady was murdered by her ex-boyfriend in the same house!! Tough luck.

Baltimore, MD, here I come. My first cousin, Jiji, is working here now. So something new for me. Met new friends, but still I go to New York halos every other weekend. Then, the cold season came and my skin allergies became worst. Became depressed. So I went home again. There is really no place like home. I didn’t care if I will go back to the US or not. Just had to get out of the country! Was home for 6 months!

Kanami sang Bacolod. HOME. Papa and Mommy. My siblings, my sister in law, my nephews. My room since we moved in our own home when I was 8. Basta HOME. Renewed friendships. Became a foster parent in BPYC. Volunteered in the NGO world (again). HOME. Iloilo. Best friends, cousins, Boracay. I was so confused. Where do I want to be? A friend suggested that I take a retreat. Off I went to Cenacle Retreat House in Quezon City. My heart says "you belong in Bacolod" but my head says to be practical… thinking of the best for the future, for my kids (hopefully) so they will have a choice.

So that’s why I am here in the United States of America. Better opportunity. HOME… for now.

Another blog. This seems to be the "uso" these days. People have blogs. So here I am … have a blog in Friendster too. Already have one in Multiply.com which I still need to finish, edit, etc. Time… I just need time.