Jet

December 27 would have been my 10th wedding anniversary! Today in Iloilo, the court gave the final judgment. It’s legal and final, the marriage is annulled. Full circle.

Ten years ago, I was an excited bride looking forward to a new life married to my college sweethear. We went to the judge, the father of one of our good friends. He was good and kind enough to wed us even if our marriage license was not yet ready. Our marriage certificate states that we married on January 2, 1997 but our pictures said December 27, 1996 (even then the fates gave signs of not meant to be). This was the reason we used for the nullity of the marriage.

We planned our life. I will go back to the US (California) to "prepare" (yes, just after being married - so, is it my fault?) and then go back in time for our church wedding in December 1997. But some things are not meant to be… he was left in Bacolod and he has a good job (a young executive) with a secretary…. and then, after a shot of tequila and BOOM, an affair started. We still continued to communicate by mail (emailing and texting were not an option yet). Of course, I didn’t know. Wives are always the last to know.

I went home in November as planned and not even a week of my arrival, he admitted that there is someone else. It even started as a joke.. I asked him, "guro may iban ka na ay" and his answer "Huo" shattered my life. He said that he still loved me and fool me, I believed him (or really wanted to). Of course, he also loved her. We tried to make it work… but SHE got pregnant. We still tried to make it work or maybe he was being "nice" to give me up. Denial stage. I was holding on to something… that wasn’t there.

Pain! I don’t want to experience it again. Just thinking about it still bring tears to my eyes. The pain, being a fool in love (or was it dependence to him?) or a hurt ego.. … NO thanks, please not again.

After therapy (was clinically depressed), prayers and talks with my family, I finally accepted the facts -  he did not LOVE me anymore, I need to move on. I made a decision and told him I was going back to the US. This was about a year and half after I knew the truth. Can you believe he cried? Told me that I can still follow our dreams while he’s stuck in the Philippines. He also said he’ll take care of the annulment. Whatever!

Back in the US, New York this time, I still called him. YES, it’s very hard to LET GO. Slowly, I stopped calling. My young cousins helped me heal. It’s so nice to be young. Having crushes, giggling. I giggled with them. I also met my high school friends again and I had a new "mission." I also attended a Catholic retreat for the separated, divorced and widowed persons. Gosh, I cried the whole weekend and everyone there experienced what I experienced. It helped a lot.

I loved and enjoyed my life in New York (still do). Being with found again friends, having new friends from work (Barnes and Noble). Meeting guys. Falling in love again and again (but nothing very serious). My sister came here for about a year and had a baby.

It was almost the end of 2001 and he didn’t file the annulment yet. So I went home in March 2002 and filed. Had to go home again in 2003 to be the first witness. Waiting, waiting and waiting …. and finally, they need to send the decision to him and to the office of the solicitor general. Had to find his address. Now, it’s easy to use the internet. The whole annulment process took 3 years.

Truth? I don’t know how I feel. Happy, yes, to finally get the final papers but can you believe? Sad? It’s final. Closure time. "Real" new life for the New Year! 2007!

I can change my papers in the Philippines now. Back to my name. Yehey!

Thank you for all your support and encouragement. The survivor speaks …

Now, it’s time to make plans for another wedding. Just kidding (live-in anay). Hahaha! Daw tuod lang ba.

HAPPY 2007! I hope to have even more blessings this new year.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 27th, 2006 at 7:05 am and is filed under Feelings/Thoughs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.